Creature

        Rip out the lungs 

        Pry the flesh from its bones

        This creature who trusts in your goodness

        And sings of a sweetness inside you

        You who so loved the world

        Kill this gentlest creature

        Now as it breathes in your hands

        As it sings to you alone, softly revealed

        And delicately yielded

        Take your time

        Creature

        Sing now of those darkest places

        Those places farthest in

        Where this sacrifice is felt

        Where cruelty and love

        Begin and end

Let Go

     Driving toward home.

     I can steer this thing, yes.

     These pedals might be useless. 

     I'm not sure. Wait.

     I know where I am now, I think.

     No. The right turn is wrong.

     So says the wall where the road home used to be.

     So says a sinister gravity that summons me.

     Turn left, turn left, turn left.

     I will do the turning.

     No.  Just hold on.

     Don't let go.

     I see where this is going.

     Steeply down.

     More walls erupting.
     Towering, blocking, pushing. 

     Endless, consuming darkness.

     And no more turning.
     No turns left.

     Those loved friends up there.
     Those who still have light.

     They will never see me again.

     Unless the one way out is up.

     Unless the one way up is letting go.

     Descend, or let go.
     Do not hold on.
   
     What have I got to lose?

Pain-body

I just learned about the pain-body.  Convenient!  I can blame my strong attraction to moody, volatile, self-destructive people on my pain-body.  It's not that I love you desperately.  It's that my pain-body is energized by yours, you sexy mother fucker. 

I rarely use profanity.  

The pain-body made me do it.

Clever

It's not lack of self-discipline with me.  It might be a self-indulgent state of mind that narrows my vision.

"The ego may be clever, but it is not intelligent.  Cleverness pursues its own little aims.  Intelligence sees the larger whole in which all things are connected.  Cleverness is motivated by self-interest, and it is extremely short-sighted.  Most politicians and businesspeople are clever.  Very few are intelligent.  Whatever is attained through cleverness is short-lived and always turns out to be eventually self-defeating.  Cleverness divides; intelligence includes."  

-- Eckhart Tolle

Freedom

          

         The regime, oppressive, asking for documents. 

         They keep pace, just behind me. 

         I won’t look back at them, for looking back is guilt.

         And I am guilty.

         The fugitive, keeping secrets, surviving underground.

         She signals, just ahead. 

         I won’t run to her, for running is desperate.

         And I am desperate.

         There is much I will give up

         If they catch up to me.

         I’ll have to live like someone else.

         There is much I will give up

         If I can reach her first.

         I’ll have to live like myself.

Dad

My dad is known as "Papa" by the kids.  

Here are some photos from our Maine trip.

Papa telling stories to Daniel and my niece Maya.  

He has traditional sailor tattoos (anchors and seahorses and such).

Papa took Daniel and my nephew John fishing

                                                

Papa has a commemorative VFW stone at this monument in Bucksport, Maine

This is the stone showing his years of service in Vietnam

With John and Daniel

Full view with the flags of each military branch plus the US flag.  The black stones in the center 

(and the single black stone on the right side) belong to those who died while serving.

Grace

             when you opened my heart

             I closed my eyes

             blind 

             I pressed against your voice

             until I felt you close to me

             close enough to hear you say

             my treasured name

             but I did not answer

             mute

             when I closed my heart

             you opened my eyes

             now I see