I, Too

like shiva in his ring of fire

I, too, with my four arms poised

balanced on one flat foot

closed my goddess eyes

dreamed the new world

I, too, was filled with that light

opened my human heart

danced a tabla rhythm

jingled my golden coins

walked among you smiling

but it’s dark now

and I’ve been silent

shining still, but silent

my four arms poised

Yes

Can I stay present to the ache of loss or disgrace—disappointment in all its many forms—and let it open me?  

Pema Chodron

It's my birthday

I see your colors

with my good eye

and my bad eye

sees shadows

where there are shadows

I see more than you want

and must close them

still I listen for your accent

and your silence

such music

day to day

I can’t function

and you’re making puzzles

he said

you keep suffering

and I’ll keep paying bills

she said

and they lived happily ever after

listen

more love
like 
your love
rhymes

not dismissed

you're not mine to miss
but you are not
dismissed

kindly stay

I can't hold on
for more than
half a day

so don't stray

we can talk
about others
we can say
nothing or
even too much

it's all okay

Still

I put a spell on you
and you saw it coming
but still

it's wearing off
as charms must do
but still

birds are clamoring
it's six am
the cat is nudging
but still

I could lie here all morning
not abandoning
these thoughts of you