In early May I attended an all day Moon Lodge workshop, a women's gathering in
the Ojibwe tradition. One theme of our group study was
“choosing not to go to war” in our individual lives and relationships. What might that look like?
The leader of the workshop took us through a guided
meditation. At one point she asked us to
meditate on the following:
(1) Think of someone who you have felt was “better” than
you.
(2) Think of someone whom you felt “better than”.
(3) Think of someone who has hurt or betrayed you, where
forgiveness has been difficult.
(4) Think of someone who is your “enemy”, someone you’re in
battle with.
(5) Think of someone you love unconditionally and without reservations. You'd do anything for this person.
Interesting outcomes for me:
I couldn’t find anyone for (4), the enemy. Nobody came to mind. I came up with ways that people can behave as
my enemy, yes, by holding certain harmful political viewpoints, but not any
individual in my daily social interactions nor in my personal history that I
would label as an enemy. More
surprisingly, (1) and (2), someone who I felt was better than me and that I was better than, were the same person.
It was during meditation on these painful memories that tears formed,
a re-stimulation of feelings I thought I’d moved on from long ago. After this exercise we made herbal packets
that would be invested with whatever attachment we had identified and wanted to release at the fire later. This burning of the packet turned out to be liberating for me. I've never had a great respect for rituals. But I now believe that
ritual, when it's connected to something true within your soul and heart, can be transformative and healing, by reinforcing the worth and value and reality of the energy represented. We got to go to the fire individually in turn,
while the group drummed and sang in a circle of support around us. Men were included in this part of the lodge experience, and they drummed and sang with us. And when we weren't the one at the fire, we were supporting someone who was. It started an evolution of inner transformation that I’ve continued and nurtured since then.
Another goal of the
gathering was to learn about the phases of the moon we were born under. I was born on a full moon, which means a number of
things. But there’s another movement of
the moon that was new to me: the moon
goes through 13 cycles in a year, not 12, and each of these has a name. I was born under a blueberry moon (which I
think is the 11th cycle). Blueberry moon people
are pleasure-givers. The purest
expression of this is that we love deeply and have a calling to provide
pleasure and comfort to those we love. The “warning” is
that we can get taken advantage of and used.
So I’m in the “berry group”, and there’s an amusing story
that goes along with this. This is a
paraphrased version of the story the lodge leader told (I can’t retell it in her inimitable
narrative style):
A respected elder in
the tribe had done many great things for the community. He approached the council for permission to marry
more than one wife. Because he had given
unselfishly of his wisdom, skills and energy for the benefit of the group, they
agreed that he could add to his household in this way, which he did, marrying
in total three wives by the time he was a very old man. It was widely perceived that he was a happy
and wise man, with still a lot of energy and gifts to give the tribe, and
so he explained that he had made the wisest possible use of the privilege
granted by the council, by marrying women in the proper order: “First, I
married a strawberry moon woman. She
gave us children and loved them and raised them well, making for us a happy and
loving home. Next, I married a raspberry
moon woman. She is an efficient manager,
handling our affairs, maintaining our household, making sure everything gets
done and nothing is wasted, ensuring prosperity, saving resources, and providing peace of mind. Last, I married a blueberry woman, someone
devoted to me, giving me great pleasure, love and comfort in my old age. And this was the right order of things.”
And I must admit, it resonates. I'm a blueberry moon woman.
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